Pulling through
by Rachelmasonfan25
Summary: Rachel is trying to get a good relationship with her daughter again, but will she manage it?
1. Chapter 1

It was about 9 o clock on a Friday night and Lucy was stood outside of her house, trying to open the front door as quietly as she possibly could.

What Lucy didn't realise was that her mother had seen her walking up the drive and was already waiting on the other side of the door.

Lucy started pushing the door forward slowly but she soon saw Rachel stood in front of her, hands on hips.

"Where the hell have you been?"

"Like you care"

"Of course I care, I'm your Mum"

"You've got a funny way of showing it, I thought Mums were meant to be nice to their kids" Lucy said as she walked past her Mum

"You still haven't told me where you've been"

"Out"

"Yeah I gathered that, but I seem to recall telling you not to go out tonight. Were you at the park?"

"Yep" the twelve year old said before storming up the stairs

She had tears in her eyes but there was no way she was going to let Rachel see this.

As much as she didn't like to admit it, Lucy hated falling out with her Mum all the time but there just always seemed to be so much tension between them.

Rachel didn't bother to follow her up. She couldn't be bothered for another evening arguing with her daughter.

Instead she went into her youngest daughter's bedroom expecting to find her asleep, however when she went in Ivy was still wide awake.

"What are you still doing awake at this time?"

"I'm excited Mummy"

"And what are you excited about?" Rachel asked smiling, but she already knew the answer to this

"My Birthday tomorrow"

"Oh yeah I forgot it was your Birthday tomorrow" Rachel joked "how old are you going to be again?"

"I told you at teatime Mummy" Ivy said laughing "I'm going to be five"

"Oh yes I remember now. Just think the sooner you go to sleep and the sooner you can wake up and it will be your Birthday"

"I know, I'm trying it's just really hard. Are you still letting me have my party tomorrow Mummy?"

"Of course I am, why wouldn't I be?"

"Well I've never really had a party before so I was just checking"

Rachel couldn't say she was particularly looking forward to having a class full of reception children running around. But it was only for a couple of hours and it wasn't in her house either.

"The party if most definitely still on my love"

"I can't wait to go on the bouncy castle Mummy, will you come on with me?"

"Wouldn't you rather go on with your friends?"

"Yes but I want to go on with you sometimes too"

"I'm sure I could cope for a few minutes"

"And Lucy too"

Rachel sighed, she really hoped Lucy would be in a better mood tomorrow for her little sister's Birthday.

"You'll have to ask her won't you. Anyway lie down and try to go to sleep now, you don't want to be tired tomorrow"

"Okay Mummy"

Although Ivy could be a little madam sometimes she could also be extremely sweet, and Rachel was glad she was being sweet at the minute as she didn't think she could cope with two stroppy daughters right now.

"Night sweetheart, love you lots"

"I love you too Mummy"

Ivy closed her eyes and Rachel stroked her hair until she dropped off to sleep.

Rachel then tiptoed out of her bedroom and decided to go and see Lucy. She really wanted to be on speaking terms with her daughter before tomorrow.

Rachel was shocked when she went in and noticed Lucy's face. It was obvious that she'd been crying.

As angry as Rachel felt with Lucy she tried her best to stay calm, as she wanted to get things sorted for Ivy's sake.

"I'm not here to lecture you, but I do just want to know why you felt it was okay to go out when I specifically told you not to"

Lucy just shrugged her shoulders.

"Is that all you can do, I'm trying to be nice here Lucy"

"I didn't see why I couldn't go"

"How many times do we have to go through this Lucy? I don't feel right letting you go out to just hang about with your friends, those aren't the sort of people I want you associating with"

"Why are you acting like you're suddenly so bothered? All you care about is having the perfect daughter because everyone things you're the perfect head teacher. Maybe if you'd been the perfect Mum you might have raised a perfect daughter"

"Lucy please, I'm trying to get this sorted. It's Ivy's Birthday, you don't want her getting upset again because we're arguing do you?"

"Because you've really cared about making her Birthday special for the last three years haven't you Mum? I was the one who decorated the house last year and made a cake to try and make the day feel like her Birthday"

"You know how much I was still struggling last year Lucy"

"Well so was I Mum, he was my Dad you know"

Three years ago Rachel's husband had died in a car crash. He'd been on his way back from the supermarket buying a cake for Ivy's Birthday, as Rachel had attempted to make one but it had been a complete disaster.

"Of course I know, and I know how hard it must have been for you too"

"But Ivy should have been more important. Her third Birthday was practically like any other day, you just gave her some presents. That wasn't fair on her Mum"

"I know Lucy" Rachel said as tears began to form in her eyes "and that's why I'm making such an effort for her this year. I'm trying my best, but her Birthday brings to many mixed emotions for me"

Lucy could feel tears brimming in her eyes, but she was trying her best to push them back. Crying in front of her Mum was something she hadn't done in a long time, despite the numerous amount of times she did cry.

"I miss him Mum, I wish he was still here"

"Me too darling, me too"

For the first time in what seemed like forever Lucy allowed her Mum to cuddle her for the first time in a very long time.

The death of Lucy's Dad seemed to have really taken its toll on Rachel and Lucy's relationship.

Lucy used to be a proper little Mummy's girl, but these days they were so distant with one another and they argued all the time.

"I'm going to go to sleep now" Lucy said pulling away from her Mum

Rachel hoped she had made a little break through with Lucy and that tomorrow they would get on. She knew she still had the issue of Lucy's bad behaviour and attitude to deal with, but that could wait for another day.

"Okay, night love"

As soon as Rachel closed her bedroom door Lucy curled up into a ball and cried. She cried so much that eventually she cried herself to sleep.

Rachel went to bed herself after this point, knowing she was going to need all the rest she could get ready for tomorrow!

Although she dropped off pretty quickly, she woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't get back to sleep.

After lying there for about an hour, she flicked on the lamp beside her bed and went over to her wardrobe and pulled out some old photo albums.

She sat there for ages looking through the photos of Ivy's first and second Birthday when Rachel had been so happy. She felt like the luckiest woman in the world with her husband and their two beautiful children.

Rachel would have done anything to have Tom back again, for their children to have a Dad that was alive.

Since Tom had died Rachel had taken hardly any photos. But she knew all of this needed to change. She needed to stop dwelling on the past and think about the future, for her two daughters.

Rachel had been so engrossed in the photos that she hadn't heard Ivy come into her bedroom.

"What are you doing Mummy?"

Rachel hastily wiped away a few tears before turning to face Ivy.

"I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd just have a look through these, come and have a look you were practically a baby here"

"How old was I?"

"You were 1, these are all photos from your first Birthday"

"I look really tiny"

"You were tiny"

Rachel really glad looking through the photos with Ivy. It was something she hadn't been able to do since Tom had died because it had just upset her too much, but now it was becoming easier to just remember all of the good memories she'd shared with him.

"Anyway sleepyhead what are you doing awake?"

"I woke up and I thought it was the morning but then I realised it was still dark outside, but I can't get back to sleep Mummy because I'm too excited"

"Do you think coming in with me might help?"

Ivy nodded so Rachel started to put all of the photo albums away.

"I want to look at more photos Mummy"

"We can, tomorrow or maybe another day. You need to go to sleep now"

"I need a wee first"

"Go on then"

Ivy quickly went for a wee in Rachel's en suite before climbing into Rachel's bed.

She loved sleeping in her Mum's bed, it was so comfy and her room was so pretty.

Rachel wrapped her arms around Ivy and they quickly fell asleep.

Before she knew it Rachel was woken up by a very excited Ivy.

"Mummy, Mummy it's my Birthday"

"Happy Birthday darling" Rachel said before kissing her daughter's forehead

"Can I go and wake Lucy up?"

"I suppose so, and then bring her down to the lounge"

Rachel had spent ages last night decorating the lounge and laying out all of her presents.

Rachel wrapped a dressing gown around her before going downstairs.

A few minutes later her two daughters came.

The look on Ivy's face when she was the room was priceless and seeing her so happy made Rachel very happy. It was the happiest she had felt in a very long time.

"Did you do this Mum?"

"Yep"

"Thank you" Ivy said before wrapping her arms around her Mum "can I open my presents now?"

"Of course you can"

Of course Ivy went straight for the biggest. Not that it was wrapped. Rachel had just put a blanket over it with a ribbon on top.

Ivy was so pleased when she saw it was a bike.

"Thank you Mummy, I've wanted to learn how to ride a bike for ages"

"I know you have love, and I thought it was about time I taught you"

Ivy then opened the rest of her presents. She loved playing with dolls so Rachel had got her a few more bits for that and a few other bits and bobs.

"Do you want your present from me now Ivs?" Lucy asked

"Yes please"

Lucy went upstairs and got the present from her room before bringing it back down.

Rachel didn't even know what it was. She'd offered to buy it for Lucy to give to her sister, but Lucy had insisted on choosing it and paying for it herself.

Ivy opened it and it was a pink karaoke machine. Ivy loved singing and dancing so Lucy thought she would probably enjoy it.

"Wow thanks Lucy, this is the best Birthday ever I've got so many presents"

"Auntie Mel is coming over a bit later, so you never know she might have a present for you too"

Ivy was grinning so much.

Ivy went over and gave her Mum a big cuddle.

"Thank you so much for all of my presents Mummy"

"You're more than welcome darling"

Ivy then went over to give Lucy a hug.

"Right then, what does the Birthday girl want for breakfast? I've bought pain au chocolat so you can have that with some fruit, or I can make pancakes. Whatever you fancy really"

"Can we have pancakes and pain au chocolat?"

"It is your Birthday I guess" Rachel said smiling

The two girls followed Rachel into the kitchen and sat at the breakfast bar whilst she started getting all the stuff out for breakfast.

"Can I have a go at cooking a pancake Mum?" Lucy asked

"Yep"

"Can I toss it"

"You can try, see if you have any better luck than me" Rachel said laughing

Lucy tried and did manage to do a good job of tossing the pancake.

Once it was ready she put it onto Ivy's plate and Ivy started filling her pancake with all sorts.

"Don't make yourself sick love"

They all sat down and had a really nice breakfast together.

Once they'd finished breakfast Rachel took Ivy upstairs and gave her a bath so she was looking nice and fresh for her Birthday party this afternoon.

Once Lucy was ready Rachel wanted to go and have a little word with Lucy. She thought her present for Ivy was so thoughtful and she just wanted to tell her daughter how proud of her she was.

Rachel opened the door however Lucy was in the middle of getting changed.

"Mum" Lucy shouted quickly holding up a top against her chest

"Sorry love I didn't know you were getting changed"

"Well you should have knocked first and I'd have told you"

Rachel sighed thinking Lucy's mood had changed back to normal.

"What was it you wanted anyway?"

"Just to say well done for Ivy's Birthday present, she's so pleased with it"

"It took me ages walking around Toysrus trying to choose something"

"Well you did an excellent job, anyway I'll leave you to finish getting ready"

Rachel walked out and went and jumped in the shower herself and got ready.

By the time Rachel was ready Mel had already arrived to see Ivy with Philip and her 14 year old daughter Olivia.

The three of them stayed until it was time to head to the leisure centre for Ivy's party.

Mel was coming too to help Rachel out.

They arrived and went into the hall where the bouncy castle was already set up and lots of toys had been put out.

Rachel laid all of the party bags out on the table before agreeing to go on the bouncy castle with Ivy.

Rachel was so carried away with Ivy she didn't notice one of the Mum's come in with one of Ivy's friends.

She quickly stopped feeling quite embarrassed when she saw her stood there as Rachel felt a bit hot and sweaty now and her hair was all over the place.

"Sorry I know we're a bit early, but I need to rush off to pick up my son from his football match so Maisy was hoping she could wait here"

"Yeah of course, that's fine"

"I will be back once I've picked Max up and dropped him to his Grandma's"

"Yes of course, it's no problem whatsoever"

Within half an hour the hall had gone from being completely empty to packed full with five year olds and Mum's and Dad's.

Things seemed to be running smoothly at the minute though which Rachel was glad about.

After a good couple of hours playing Rachel rounded all of the children up and took them through to the café ready for the food.

The staff started bringing out all of the food and then they started tucking into the buffet.

The children were all starting to eat when Rachel noticed Maisy looking a bit sad so went over to her.

"Are you okay darling?" Rachel asked to which Maisy nodded her head

"Are you sure?"

"Well I wanted to sit with Ivy because she's my best friend but I wasn't quick enough because everyone wants to sit next to her because it's her Birthday"

Maisy was Ivy's best friend so Rachel took hold of Maisy's hand and pulled a seat next to Ivy so she was sitting next to her.

"Thank you Rachel"

"No problem love"

Rachel then went and grabbed a plate of food for herself before going to stand with Mel and some of the other Mum's

Rachel had taken plenty of photos from the day so was looking forward to printing them off and making an album.

After they'd eaten Rachel lit all of the candles on the cake and then everyone sang to Ivy.

Rachel then cut the cake and started putting it into party bags as it was nearly time for everyone to go home.

Once the party had finished and everyone had gone home Rachel took Ivy and Lucy home.

Rachel had said Mel could come back too but she said she needed to get home because Olivia had friends coming over tonight.

When they got home the three of them sat down and watched a DVD that Ivy had got for her Birthday however by the time it had finished she was extremely tired, which was no wonder after such a busy day.

"Let's get you up to bed love"

Ivy didn't put up any protests and went straight up with Rachel.

Once Ivy had changed into pyjamas and been to the loo and brushed her teeth, Rachel got her tucked up in bed.

"I've had the best day ever today Mummy, I wish we could do it again tomorrow"

"I was thinking a bit of a quieter day tomorrow, maybe a nice walk or something"

"That's boring though"

"If all days were exciting as today though it wouldn't have been special though would it?"

"No I guess not"

Rachel stayed and talked to Ivy for a bit longer before saying goodnight and going back downstairs with Lucy.

"Mum can I go out tonight with some friends?"

"Can't you just stay in tonight with me love?"

"But I want to see my friends"

Rachel sighed.

"Where are you going with them?"

"Just out"

"Well no, my answer is no. I don't know why you even bothered to ask"

"Thanks a lot Mum" Lucy said before storming out

"And don't even think about sneaking out again like you did last night"

Just when Rachel thought she'd got somewhere with Lucy, she spent yet another evening sat in the lounge on her own whilst Lucy sat up in her bedroom.

Rachel did keep checking on her and she didn't sneak out again, which was one thing to be glad about she thought to herself.


	2. Chapter 2

It was the day before the family were due to fly to Portugal to go on holiday.

Rachel and Mel were taking the kids over to stay in an apartment over there.

Rachel was really looking forward to getting away, but at the minute she was just feeling a bit stressed with all the packing and things she still needed to do.

She also still wasn't on very good terms with Lucy. They'd had another argument this morning which had ended when Ivy came in sobbing her heart out.

Rachel was determined to get this sorted with Lucy before they went on holiday.

The night before Ivy's Birthday Rachel had felt her and Lucy were starting to get on again, but she'd been wrong.

That night Lucy had almost let Rachel see how vulnerable she still was after losing her Dad, but she still hadn't felt she could completely open up to her Mum.

At the minute Rachel knew that Lucy still wouldn't have calmed down from their argument, so Rachel carried on with her packing for a bit.

She'd nearly finished most of her own stuff when she heard Mel downstairs.

"Hiya Rach, we're here"

"Just coming"

Rachel went downstairs where Mel and Olivia had made their way into the kitchen.

"Where's Phil?" Rachel asked

"Out with his friends"

"Is it okay if I meet some of my friends for a bit later too please Auntie Rachel?"

"Of course it is love"

Mel was going away for the night with her boyfriend so Olivia and Phil were staying with Rachel.

Rachel had no idea why Mel had chosed to go away the night before they were going on holiday, but this was typical Mel. At least their flight wasn't until the afternoon.

Mel stayed for a cup of tea but then she decided to shoot off.

"What time are you meeting your friends?"

"Probably after lunch, I think we're going to go into town and do some shopping"

"That will be nice love, do you need any more stuff for going on holiday?"

"Yeah a few bits, I want to get another bikini"

"Well I'm going to get back to packing, but Lucy's in her room if you want to go up"

Lucy and Olivia got on really well. You wouldn't think they were two years apart, most people thought they looked about the same age as Lucy looked quite old for her age and Olivia looked quite young.

Rachel went into Ivy's bedroom and made a start on her packing.

"Can I help you Mummy?" Ivy asked

Rachel sighed, really she would have preferred to just do it on her own as she would be able to get it done s lot quicker

"Yeah if you want to love, I don't mind doing it though if you want to do something else

"I want to help you"

"Okay well start by getting some knickers out of your drawer love"

"How many?"

"About 9 or 10 pairs should be plenty"

"But we're only going for a week"

"We'll just in case you have an accident or something love"

Ivy spent a while choosing her favourite knickers

"What shall I do now Mummy?"

"Get out the swimsuits you want to bring"

After a while Ivy was all packed so Rachel braced herself before going to get Lucy sorted.

"Right Lucy let's finish your packing"

"I've already finished"

"Well are you sure that you've got everything?"

"Yep"

Rachel went over to her suitcase and started looking through what Lucy had packed

"For gods sake Mum, I just told you I've packed everything"

"Fine don't blame me though when you don't have everything you need"

"I think I'm old enough to pack for myself now Mum"

Olivia didn't like it when her Auntie and Lucy argued.

"Auntie Rachel is it okay if I go and meet my friends now?"

"Yeah of course it is, you haven't had any lunch yet though"

"I think we're going to grab some food when we're out now"

"Okay love, have you got money?"

"Yeah Mum gave me some before she dropped me off too"

"Okay, well have a good time text me when you know what time you're coming home"

"Will do"

Olivia left so it was just Rachel and Lucy.

Rachel was going to try and have a talk with Lucy but suddenly Ivy came running in.

"Mummy I'm hungry"

"I'll go and make some lunch now"

Rachel made some sandwiches and then called the girls down.

Lucy wasn't exactly unpleasant to her Mum but she was only really talking to her when she had to. She was fine with Ivy though.

Rachel spent the afternoon packing and cleaning. In the afternoon she had to nip to Boots to get a few more toiletries.

Ivy went with Rachel but Lucy stayed at home.

When they got there Rachel picked up everything that they needed and managed to spend a small fortune.

When they got back there was a note from Lucy saying she'd gone out to meet some friends. Rachel sighed, she hoped she wouldn't be back too late.

The rest of the afternoon passed quickly.

Rachel was sat in the garden with Ivy when Olivia got home.

"Hiya love, did you have a good day?" Rachel asked when she saw her niece come out to the garden

"Yeah good thanks, I'm going to go and put my stuff away"

Olivia then dashed off before Rachel had the chance to say anything else.

This was unlike Olivia to not stay and chat for a bit longer so Rachel decided to go and check on her.

Olivia was going to sleep in Lucy's room tonight so Rachel went up there.

When she got up there Olivia wasn't in there, but the door to Lucy's en suite was closed so Rachel guessed that she was in there.

Whilst Rachel waited for Olivia to come out she had a quick look through the bags of stuff that Olivia had bought.

She saw a pretty dress in the first bag she looked in and then she saw another with a bikini and a couple of bras in.

Rachel realised they were going to be way too big for Olivia as even though Olivia wasn't flat chested she hadn't developed much of a chest yet.

When Rachel heard Olivia coming out she quickly put the stuff in the bag knowing that it would embarrass Olivia.

"Oh hi Auntie Rach"

"I just came upstairs to check you were alright"

"Yeah I'm fine"

"Are you going to show me what you bought?"

"Urmm yeah okay" Olivia said but she immediately started to panic as she didn't want Rachel seeing the underwear that she's bought

Olivia picked up the bag with the dress in and took it out to show Rachel.

"That's pretty love, it will be really nice to wear for one of the evenings on holiday"

Rachel then picked up the other bag and took out the underwear as she knew Olivia wouldn't want to show her.

"This is all very nice Liv, but don't you think it's going to be a little big?"

Much to Rachel's surprise Olivia burst into tears.

Rachel instinctively wrapped her arm around Olivia and say her down on the bed.

"What's wrong sweetheart?"

"I'm just fed up of having a body like a little girl"

"Hey that's not true, you're starting to get a nice little figure"

"Hardly, my boobs are so much smaller than all my friends"

"Everyone's a different size love, but I think you're just a bit later developing than them, you'll catch them up soon"

"Probably not knowing my luck, even Lucy has bigger boobs than I do now" Olivia said through tears

"Not by much"

"But she's two years younger than I am"

"Sweetheart it really doesn't matter, like I've told you before everyone grows at different rates. Now how come you bought bras and a bikini top that aren't going to fit you?"

"Because I thought I could stuff it with tissue or something to make my boobs look bigger, it was Lucy's idea"

Rachel rolled her eyes. Lucy was starting to develop quite a lot now and had become quite hormonal, but she wasn't letting Rachel help her with it at all. She hadn't even let Rachel take her to get her first bra, she'd gone with friends.

"I should've known my daughter would be behind all of this. You shouldn't be worrying about what you look like, especially not when you're on holiday with your family. Besides that's only going to make you feel more self-conscious because you'll be paranoid someone will notice the tissue the whole time"

"I suppose"

"Liv you really are beautiful and one day when you've got boobs bigger than mine you're going to look back and wonder why you ever cared that your boobs were too small" Rachel said making Olivia smile a bit

Olivia wiped away her tears as she was feeling a bit better after speaking to her Auntie, she always did know how to make her feel better.

"Now how about tomorrow we nip to the shops, return what you bought and then I'll help you find a bikini you feel comfortable in. How does that sound?"

"What about Lucy and Ivy?"

"They can either come and go off for a bit on their own or they can stay here with Phil"

"Thanks Auntie Rachel" Olivia said giving her Aunt a big hug

"Do you fancy coming and sitting in the garden for a bit with me and Ivy, and then I'll make a start on tea?"

"Yep sounds good"

Rachel poured herself a glass of white wine before joining the girls in the garden.

She enjoyed sitting with them for a while but then realised she really did need to get on with tea, but in the end decided to just order a Chinese takeaway.

After she'd ordered the Chinese she was about to ring Lucy to see when she'd be back, however she heard the door slam and someone run upstairs so presumed it was Lucy.

"Lucy is that you?" Rachel called but she got no reply

Rachel went upstairs to check on her daughter.

She knocked on Lucy's door.

"Leave me alone" Lucy shouted however Rachel went in anyway

When Rachel went in she noticed at once that Lucy had been crying.

"Why bother knocking if you're just going to come in anyway"

"I just wanted to check you were okay"

"Well you've checked so now you can go"

"Lucy, please don't be like this with me"

"Like what?"

"Acting as though I'm the most horrible women in the world"

"Just piss off Mum"

"Don"t you dare speak to me like that" Rachel said starting to feel angry and also horrified that her daughter had just spoken to her like that.

"Fine I don't know why I even bothered trying. We're having Chinese for tea, it will be here at 7. If you want some you can come down to eat and then you just as well stay in your room for the rest of the night"

Rachel then left as tears formed in her eyes. She hated how things were between her and Lucy and she didn't know how to handle it. She was already feeling bad for what she'd just said to Lucy.

Lucy came down to eat but spent the rest of the night in her bedroom.

Usually Olivia and Lucy would be together, but tonight Olivia was sticking with Rachel so she guessed she was being moody with Olivia too.

Rachel had been in bed for about an hour but hadn't been to sleep yet. Suddenly she heard a knock at her door.

"Come in"

The door opened and she saw Olivia stood there.

"Hey love, come in"

"I just thought you might like to know that Lucy's been crying for ages"

"Okay love thanks for letting me know. Do you want to sleep in the spare room, you might get a better nights sleep in there"

"Okay, will Lucy be okay?"

"I hope so, I'll go and talk to her now"

Rachel went to Lucy's bedroom. She stood there for a few moments listening to her daughter cry, it was making her heart melt.

Rachel went over and sat on the bed next to Lucy waiting for her to push her away at any moment.

Much to Rachel's surprise though she didn't. Instead she turned around to face her Mum.

"Mum I really don't want to argue with you anymore"

Rachel didn't know what had caused this suddenly but she certainly wasn't complaining

She didn't say anything but wrapped her arms around Lucy, and for the first time in ages Lucy let her Mum hold her whilst she cried

After a while Lucy pulled away.

"Mum I'm so so sorry, I can't stop thinking about how horrible I've been to you"

"I'm sorry too, I know I haven't handled things very well and I've said things that I really shouldn't have"

"It's not your fault, it's mine for being such a bitch"

"Hey I don't want to hear that kind of language"

"Sorry. From now on I'm going to be nice to you I promise"

"What do you think was making you act the way you were hmm?"

Lucy shrugged

"Ever since... ever since your Dad died we haven't had the best relationship have we?"

"I know we used to be so close, but after Dad died I got fed up of being upset all the time and it became easier to get mad with you than let you see that I was upset"

"I wanted to help you love. I know I was a bit of a mess but your my daughter, I still wanted to be there for you"

"But what about on Ivy's Birthday's, you basically treated it like any other day for the first two years after Dad"

"I know it was wrong of me and I feel so bad, but I just couldn't cope with all the happy memories we had on that day before Dad, but I tried so hard for her this year" Rachel said as she let a few tears fall from her eyes as she felt so guilty

"I know you did"

"This is a new start for us Luc. From now on we talk to each other about how we're feeling and we try to remember the good things about Dad, rather than always being so negative about it, yes?"

"Yes, and Mum I really am sorry you know"

"I know you are, we'll put it all behind us though"

"I love you Mum"

"I love you too darling"

Sorry for not updating in ages, been on holiday for three weeks so haven't had much time xxxx


	3. Chapter 3

**Literally haven't been on here in so long but suddenly felt like writing some more!**

 **This is going to be set quite a few months later.**

The last six months had been so much better for Lucy and Rachel. They still had their moments where they would fall out, but on the whole they had a strong mother- daughter relationship.

It was a Saturday morning and the girls were having a lazy morning whilst Rachel did a few jobs around the house.

Ivy was cuddled up against Lucy and they were watching The Parent Trap. Rachel came in and joined them having just finished mopping the kitchen floor.

"Don't go in the kitchen for a little while girls, the floors wet. Anyway what do you fancy doing today Luc while Ivy's at her party?"

"Please can we go shopping?"

"Again? You went with your friends last weekend"

"I know, but I want to go with you"

"Well I could do with getting some new stuff for work actually and the weather's hardly nice I suppose"

"You were easier to persuade than I thought, I thought you were going to say no we'll go for a walk or something instead"

"Now you come to mention it, a walk would be nice. Shall we do that instead?"

"Really Mum?"

"I'm only teasing you, I don't particularly fancy a walk with you moaning the whole time"

Ivy had been a bit quiet all morning but Rachel had put this down to tiredness.

"Shall we get you ready for your party Ivy?"

"I want to finish watching this"

"How long's left?"

"Probably about 20 minutes" Lucy said

"I guess so, but then we really do need to have lunch and get you ready"

Rachel left the girls to finish watching the film and went into the kitchen to start making lunch.

There wasn't much in the cupboards as Rachel needed to do a food shop but in the end she settled on ham and cheese toasties, knowing the girls both liked them lots.

Rachel got it all ready and once the girls came in she started putting them in the toasted sandwich maker.

Rachel gave the first one to Ivy, and then one to Lucy and then sat down to have hers.

Rachel and Lucy had both finished but Ivy had still barely eaten anything.

"Are you okay Ivy?"

"Yeah"

"How come you're not eating your lunch?"

"I'm not very hungry"

"Well you need to eat a bit more or you won't have any energy for Millie's party this afternoon"

Ivy ate a bit more but still only managed to eat half of her sandwich.

Rachel cut up some fruit for them to have afterwards but Ivy barely touched it.

After lunch Rachel took Ivy upstairs to get ready.

"Are you feeling okay sweetheart?"

"Yes" Ivy lied as she'd been looking forward to the party all week

"Are you sure? Because you don't have to go if you're not feeling up to it"

"I'm sure"

"Okay love, let's get you changed. Do you want to put your swimsuit on underneath so it's easier when you get there?"

Ivy nodded and went and picked a swimsuit out of her drawer.

Rachel had stripped her down to her knickers.

"Do you need a wee before we put your swimsuit on?" Rachel asked and Ivy nodded

"Okay, you nip to the loo now then love"

Ivy went and came back a few minutes later so Rachel finished getting her ready

An hour later and Ivy and Rachel were both ready to go however they were still waiting on Lucy.

After shouting to her multiple times Rachel decided to go up and see what she was doing.

"Are you ready yet?"

"Yes just coming now"

"Hurry up then, Ivy's going to be late at this rate"

"Sorry, oh can I wear some of your perfume again please Mum?"

"Yes I suppose so"

Lucy ran into her Mum's room and sprayed some of her perfume before rushing downstairs.

"Finally"

The three of them got into the car and drove to the swimming pool to drop Ivy off.

Ivy was still being extremely quiet which was making Rachel feel a bit uneasy about leaving her, but Ivy had insisted she wanted to stay.

After saying bye to Ivy Rachel and Lucy got back into the car and headed into town to go shopping.

"Right then where shall we start?"

"New Look"

They'd been shopping for an hour when they decided to stop and go to Costa for a coffee.

"Someone's been a lucky girl today" Rachel said

"I know, thank you Mum"

"We'll nip to Next after this so I can get some work things and then is there anywhere else you'd like to look?"

"Urmm… no not really"

They finished their drinks before heading to Next.

Lucy could tell then that her Mum was going to suggest they make a move.

She really needed some new bras as her ones that she had at the minute were getting too small. She'd been hoping that her Mum was going to ask if she needed anymore but she hadn't so Lucy realised she'd have to say.

"Are you ready to make a move then love?"

"Well actually there is one more thing I need"

"More? Don't you think you've got enough already?" Rachel asked but she was only joking really

"Well my bras are a bit small for me" Lucy said blushing a bit

Rachel noticed how embarrassed Lucy looked. Even though Rachel and Lucy got on really well now, Lucy did struggle to speak to Rachel about growing up stuff.

"Okay love, we'll have to get you some more. Shall we head to M&S?"

"Can't we go somewhere different? Like New Look?"

"No they'll be rubbish quality in there, M&S will be much better"

Lucy didn't argue with her Mum and they went to M&S.

They headed to the underwear department.

"Right what size were your other ones?" Rachel asked as this was actually the first time she'd taken Lucy bra shopping

"I'm not sure, I think I've got a mixture"

"Well I think the best thing to do, is to get you measured properly"

"But that's so embarrassing"

"No it's not sweetheart, and it's really important that you wear the right size bra"

"Okay, will you stay with me though? I don't want to go in on my own"

"Yes, I have to because you're under 16"

They went over to the changing rooms and luckily Lucy managed to get seen straight away.

"Right then Lucy, if you go behind the curtain and take your top off but leave your bra on"

Lucy went behind the curtain feeling really nervous.

She took her top off before opening the curtain. Rachel and the shop assistant were stood waiting in the other part of the changing room.

The lady measured Lucy and she was a 28B.

Once they'd measured her the lady went and picked out some bras for her to try on and Lucy decided on the ones she wanted.

"See that wasn't as bad as you thought was it?"

"I guess not"

They then headed to the tills.

As they were in the queue Rachel's phone started ringing. She was it was Millie's Mum so picked up straight away.

Millie's Mum told Rachel Ivy wasn't very well so needed picking up.

As soon as they'd paid Rachel rushed to the swimming pool as soon as she could.

They were in the café and Rachel quickly spotted Ivy so went over to her.

Ivy was so glad to see her Mum. She wrapped her arms around her and immediately started crying all over again.

Rachel said thank you to Millie's Mum before getting Ivy home straight away.

Rachel got Millie comfy.

"What's wrong with you sweetheart?"

"I feel poorly"

"Do you feel sick or have you got a headache or what is it?"

"I feel achy and I have a sore throat and earache"

Ivy suffered with tonsillitis a lot so Rachel hoped she wasn't coming down with it again, but it was more than likely she was.

"I knew you weren't right this morning, I should never have let you go to your party"

"I really wanted to go, but then I started feeling really poorly so I just wanted to come home"

"I'll go up and get your pyjamas so you'll be comfier and get you some calpol, and the how about we stick a film on?"

"Yes"

Rachel got Ivy sorted before putting a film on. However it wasn't long before Ivy had drifted off to sleep.

Rachel knew this was the best thing for her though when she was poorly.


End file.
